Bolder Women: Know your self-worth, and then go after it

Mallory SanMarco
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The biggest transformation I've noticed in myself since hiring a money coach is being curious and informed about my money instead of afraid and in denial. I used to think, and say, all the time, "I'm not good at money, I'm creative."

My 2 cents 🪙

If I could give you one piece of advice, it’s this: money is actually not that complicated. Anyone can be good at it. You just have to get informed, ask for help if you need it, and go for it. 

I want to earn what I’m worth, invest, and buy a home 🏡

I'm a 35 year old graphic designer from Lakewood, Ohio. Some of my goals are to get a better paying job, invest, build up my high-yield savings and eventually buy a home.

The biggest transformation I've noticed in myself since hiring a money coach is being curious and informed about my money instead of afraid and in denial. I used to think, and say, all the time, "I'm not good at money, I'm creative." Now I know those things are not mutually exclusive, and it’s no longer how I feel. 

I used to feel intimidated about money. Now I feel empowered 🤘

Historically, I was very hands off with money. I had questions but I didn't know where to start or who to ask. And I felt stupid for not knowing the answers at my age. I was very intimidated so I just didn't deal with financial things head-on. I was in an "I'll deal with that later" mindset. But later never came, not until I hired a money coach. 

I decided to start working with a money coach after a good friend shared her own experience working with Amy. Before that, I didn't even know money coaches existed. I was hesitant at first — it felt daunting and out of reach.

But once I started working with Amy, I saw how I had been holding myself back and how much my childhood and emotions around money were playing a part in my day-to-day relationship with it. These days, I feel so much more motivated to deal with issues around money, and valuing myself. Don't get me wrong, it's still hard. But the difference is I'm willing to put in the work and face it instead of putting it off forever.

I’m no longer satisfied with the bare minimum 😏

Before I started money coaching, I could never have imagined boldly asking my boss for a raise with a suggested amount. When my coach suggested I do just that, I was so intimidated and scared. The first time I asked my boss for a raise (before coaching), it took me six months to build up the courage and I didn't even ask for a specific amount.

The second time around and a few years later, Amy worked really hard with me to build up the confidence to ask for another (overdue and well-deserved) raise, and to point out a fair wage that people in similar fields with my level of experience earn. There was such a shift from the first time I asked for one. I went in confident, knowing what I was about to say was legitimate, instead of being grateful for anything. I knew my worth and I went for it. It was so freeing and empowering to be able to do that for myself. 

I determine my own worth and value, not someone else 😎

That’s the most powerful lesson I've learned so far. My worth isn’t determined by a low paying job, or the work I do, or the perceptions of others. If I lowball myself, I'm teaching others to lowball me. But if I believe in myself and demand the money I know I deserve, others will believe that too. And if they don't, it is my responsibility to go after what I deserve. 

Getting over my “never” mindset 👎

I am bolder because I am actually doing the things I told myself I couldn't do.

A great example is starting a side hustle — something I NEVER thought I could do. I never saw myself as a business owner. I always thought I was too disorganized, too bad at money, and not worthy of success. But I was wrong. And it's not to say every day is easy, or that I don't still feel out of my element. But to me, being bolder doesn't mean doing things that are easy, it's doing things that scare you, that challenge you, that make you think differently about yourself and the world. I never thought I would have done half the things I've done in the last year before coaching and I am so grateful for these experiences.

There’s power in community ✊

One of the things I really love about Bolder Money are the money circles.

They make me feel like I am part of a team, that my struggles, while unique to me, are not actually so different from the struggles of other women. And that makes it feel a lot less heavy when I am trying to work through my demons around money. The inclusivity and bond I feel with these women who I haven't even met in person is really powerful. 

And while we're talking about things I love, the coaches are incredible. Despite bringing my deepest, darkest, most shameful secrets to the table, they have never made me feel judged, stupid, like a burden, or anything else that might keep someone from feeling safe to open up. They really care about me and that means everything when sometimes you don't even know how to care about yourself.

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